To Be Caught Between Desires
Brandon Cook
My daughter nearly wept as I stepped out the door
Unsure whether she should stay or come with me
And I was only going down the street, to do an errand
But she could not decide—to come with me or stay inside, with mom
I remember being torn by such desires
When, to young hearts, such choices seem the stuff of destiny, of kings and queens and squires
O, you are fully alive, my child, and still in that holy space before we embrace a lesser flame, tapering down our heart’s long burning wick, to cure its lovesick ways
To be alive and feel as you do, hard struck by the world’s strange beauty, your soul blown open by the wind
To take and taste your tears and not despise a one of them
I hope you learn this trick (I want to teach you it and learn it new myself),
For I can remember, my love, what it’s like to have your heart so confused,
Balanced on the spires of competing desires, each earnestly entreating you,
You, soft and pure and open, befuddled by the need to refuse any pure thing
You, learning what it is to choose, and confused by life's sharp sting
The truth is, I hope you will keep weeping, in courses more broad and more mature, in keeping with your age,
That you become a sage of feeling
Always retaining and maintaining your grand capacity to feel,
Even as you learn to steel yourself against harsh winds, that still you’ll let stiff breezes in
That you take in every scrape of the world and the joy of every bee and butterfly
This is my prayer for you, my child,
As you become a high-wire walk over green gardens, and streets where the passerby looks up at you, so high above the ground and never looking down
The clouds white in your eyes, their light shining as the other side draws ever closer in their view
Your hazel irises still wet but shining
Above a wise and happy smile