The Path to Empty (Fasting II)

Jesus entered into and experienced a deep emptying. In Philippians 2, Paul says that Jesus, though he was God, emptied himself.

  Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God        
as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
   and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
   he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.[1]

This path of emptying is called kenosis.[2] Emptying preceded Jesus’ resurrection, and the resurrection could not take place without it. We often think of spirituality as a filling up, of more information, more good deeds, more effort—and those are all good things. But authentic spirituality is catalyzed by falling into God and being held by Him. It is an emptying which allows us to be filled. Good deeds, for example, must be borne out of our falling into God and not an attempt to earn anything from God. Only then can the deeds be filled with true spiritual power. This is why spirituality is always an unlearning. Only when we are falling can we trust God to catch us. Abram became Abraham journeying far from everything he’d ever known and all the comforts of his old life.[3] As David Brooks says, “If you ask anybody, ‘What’s the activity that you had that made you who you are?’ no one says, ‘You know I had a really great vacation in Hawaii.’ No one says that. They say, ‘I had a period of struggle. I lost a loved one. I was in the Army. And that period of struggle or that period of toughness made me who I am.’”[4]

Such emptying is the path of resurrection because God has redeemed even death. He has, in Jesus, made it a path to life. We can, therefore be emptied without fear, even if it is painful. Indeed, we must be emptied, to be held by God. As Jesus said, to bear life, a seed must fall to the ground and die.[5] It is a strange truth, but when we are held by God in the place of suffering, it is worth if, even if feel like we’re dying.[6] I remember, in times of depression, being so aware of beauty that, when the depression left, there was some part of it that I missed. I missed how deeply I was in touch with the raw power of God’s divine energy and how sensitive I was to beauty all around me. The perfection of a bare tree limb against a white moon was forever imprinted on my heart and mind. When I experienced something beautiful, like that, I felt God was holding me and, in some way, I learned to be held by God. I’m not glorifying depression, but rather pointing out the reality that when we are emptied, we often come into contact with fundamental realities which, when we are filled again, we can appreciate in entirely new ways. 

In fasting, we enter into the pattern of kenosis, so that we can taste resurrection. By fasting, we create space for the Holy Spirit to come closer to us. Jesus, after all, called the Holy Spirit the paraclete, which means a defender or an advocate, as in court, and literally “one who comes alongside.”[7] Paul says, for example, that the Spirit comes alongside us to convince us of our adoption in God.[8] Image that! God’s Spirit is always working, at every moment, to bring you into the reality of who God is and who you are in God. This is exactly what the world needs! If we are liberated, we can liberate. As Paul goes on to say, “All creation is groaning” and “All creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.”[9] If we are emptied, we create space for the Spirit to teach us that we are God’s children. Then we become empowered to love and see the world around us redeemed in new ways, as we love in Jesus’ name. When we fast, we create space for the Spirit to fill us. 

For all of these readings in one place, order my book 'Learning to Live and Love Like Jesus.'

[1]Philippians 2:6-8.

[2]From the Greek kenóō. The word can also be translated “to be perceived as without value, worthless.” Try to wrap your head around this: God, the One of ultimate

value, became as one perceived as worthless. This is what God willingly did, in Jesus, for our sake.

[3]Genesis 12:1-2, Genesis 17:5.

[4]David Brooks, qtd. in “What’s The Key To A Meaningful Life? You Might Not Like The Answer.”

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/david-brooks-life-meaning_us_56e6f962e4b0b25c9182b0c3 [December 30, 2017].

[5]John 12:24.

[6]2 Corinthians 4:16, Romans 8:18.

[7]John 14:26.

[8]Romans 8:16.

[9]Romans 8:19.

Fasting: Emptied to be Filled (Fasting I)

Stuffed Full of Stuff 

By the time I was in high school, my dad’s medical practice had become prosperous. Growing up, he had often left home on the weekends to pick up shifts, to make ends meet. But things changed as he became more successful, and it changed our home life. It meant, for example, that we had big Christmases. When I was seventeen, we had a very big Christmas, with lots of presents under the tree. 

It was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. 

On Christmas Eve, my siblings were watching that great Christmas classic The Godfather(okay, not exactly up there with Clarence getting his wings), when my parents had a big fight. We could hear it upstairs, and my brother and I looked at each other and took a collective deep breath. Suddenly, my father rushed downstairs, grabbed his jacket, and, without saying a word, slammed the door behind him. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. There were boxes everywhere on Christmas morning, and all full of stuff. But what good is stuff when you aren’t connected? When what really matters is absent, how can you feel any true wealth? I remember thinking that I’d rather us have no Christmas presents but simply be happy being together.

It wasn’t just Christmas, either; throughout the year, boxes would arrive at our house. Our home was inundated with stuff: CDs and clothes and books and gadgets. My sorrow and hopelessness at having things but no real joy grew. 

The strange thing is, I have the heart of a collector. I love beautiful books and wooden boxes. I love looking through antique stores. But as an adult, I find that rather than over-eating or over-drinking or over-sexing (though I have done each), my most consistent temptation is to numb out by acquiring more things. Which is strange, because I don’t consider myself materialistic or greedy. I hate wasting money, and I don’t think I spend it wantonly. But then again, in our prosperous society, greed easily flies beneath the radar. I’ve never had someone stand in my office and say, “Wow, you have a lot of books. Do you have a problem with greed?” Yet I have a penchant for “taking the edge off” by buying some new book or some new thing. I can get lost in it. It relieves the angst of life for a moment, but often at the cost of a closed and frustrated heart, as having more starts to feel like a prison. Things that satisfy us only temporarily are not satisfying at all.

Which is why each year I engage in a consumption fast. It’s an extended time of many months where I don’t buy anything new except what is essential. You know, deodorant and the like (you’re welcome, world). I train myself to see how much I have and how little I really need. I train my soul to be content. I practice giving away my things and my money to those in need. I fast because I know that otherwise, my mind and heart can get filled up with having and possessing.[1] The American ideal of having more starts to rewire my thinking. And I don’t want to get lost in that. Our lives can so easily get filled, crowding out the space where the Holy Spirit would stand, if we would let Him. We need ways to do that—to let Him stand with and within us. For this reason, fasting is a core practice of The Grounded Life, by which we make space for God to live and move and breathe within us, just as He desires to do. 

A Core Practice

Fasting was one of the core practices of the early Church. When leaders in the early Church had to make big decisions, they did so with “prayer and fasting.”[2] Jesus himself fasted for forty days in the wilderness, and he told his disciples that after he was gone from them, they would fast.[3] Fasting is a crucial practice for spiritual life, critical to the development of vibrant hearts.

And what is fasting? It’s a voluntary, temporary reduction in comfort, so that we can redirect our spiritual energy to God. It is detaching from over-dependence on any good thing—even the very gifts of God which we are meant to enjoy (food, drink, entertainment, and so on)—so that we can, for a season, refocus the energy spent delighting toward hungering at a deeper level, even for the very presence of God Himself. 

Fasting is a spiritual practice deeply connected to gratitude. When we fast, we learn to say, “I am perfectly okay without that book, that food, that drink, that television, that social media,” so that our soul gains confidence in its joy being with and before God. Fasting leads us to gratitude because in fasting we discover our freedom.

The spiritual principle undergirding fasting is simple: we can’t be filled unless we are emptied. As Khalil Gibran said, “Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potters oven?”[4] Sometimes this emptying comes from suffering, yes. But in fasting, we preemptively empty ourselves. We don’t wait around for suffering to come to empty us. We empty ourselves so that when suffering comes (as it will, eventually), we already know and, more importantly, trust the resurrection pattern of being filled by God in the midst of emptiness. In this way, we learn to be emptied in any situation with the confidence that God will fill us. Jesus demonstrated the highest order of this trust when he went to his death, trusting that God would yet fill him with life.  

Jesus often speaks of the necessity of being emptied. “You must lose your life” is, of course, a directive to let go.[5] In John 15, Jesus dilates on the matter, revealing that part of his work in the disciples over the previous three years was to prune them. “You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you.”[6] The word cleaned means pruned, and the pruning he describes is an emptying of ourselves, the stripping of all the ways we try to make life work and be fruitful on our own terms. The only way to live a truly fruitful life, Jesus says, is to be cut back, to be made empty, so that we can be filled with the very life of God. 

We all resist this. We hate suffering and emptying and vulnerability, and we will always resist it. I don’t know anyone who, when pain comes, says, “Yippee!” But God’s Spirit loves us enough to lead us through the place where we are laid bare, even when it stings us, so that we can be filled with life. This, after all, is the resurrection pattern which we must come to trust if we are to enter fully into the Reign of God. When we are emptied in this way, we become fruitful, and the wine of our lives becomes comfort for others.[7]

For this reason, James tells us to give thanks for trials.[8] By giving thanks, we see with spiritual eyes that what is happening in us—the development of our eternal souls—is far weightier than “the sufferings of this present age.”[9] In a similar way, in fasting, we can participate in our pruning, so that we become ripe with resurrection life.

For all of these readings in one place, order my book 'Learning to Live and Love Like Jesus.'

[1]Which reminds me of Jesus’ words: “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

[2]E.g Acts 13:13, 14:23.

[3]Matthew 4:1-11; Matthew 9:15, Mark 2:20, Luke 5:35. In addition to Jesus in the wilderness, there are many other fasting examples in Scripture, such as Daniel’s fast in Daniel 1:12. Most Scriptural fasts deal with food, but for our purposes here we will focus not only on food, but also on other areas of consumption.

[4]Gibran, Khalil. The Prophet. Alfred A. Knopf. New York, NY. 1923. Page 29.

[5]A paraphrase of Matthew 10:39: “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

[6]John 15:3.

[7]2 Corinthians 1:4.

[8]James 2:1ff. Trials bring the testing of our faith, which causes our endurance to grow, which brings us to wholeness and completion in God.

[9]Romans 8.

A Practical Order for Daily Prayer (Prayer VI)

A daily practice of prayer can be instrumental in anchoring us in awareness of adoption and in a life empowered to love others. Until you both understand and regularly experience the love of God and your adoption in Him, life will remain tit-for-tat, on the endless wheel of The Human Paradigm and the cycle of “trying to be good enough.” But life can be so different, and so can prayer. I have found that the following order for daily prayer, when approached from a posture of openness each day, is a wonderful way to connect with the Spirit of Jesus. It is an order of prayer firmly grounded in scriptural instructions for prayer, including the Lord’s Prayer.

Here is the Order:

Confess               Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Remember          You’ve always been faithful. You’ve adopted me in! (How can You be so good?!) 

Remind                There are amazing things you want to do.

Declare                You are good. 

Request               Let your Kingdom come, let what you want be done. 

                            Give me/us what we need.

                            Forgive me, as I completely forgive others.

                             Lead me away from temptation.                    

                            Deliver me from evil and the evil one. 

Confess

 “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
Luke 18:13

Confession is our starting point. This confession is not fashioned from The Human Paradigm. We don’t pray it disdaining the fact that we are sinners or vowing to work our way out of being sinners. Rather, we practice with awe and wonder and joy confessing that apart from God, we will always be sinners. It’s not a doingthing we confess, it’s a beingthing: “Father, apart from your love and generous grace, I will never be satisfied.” Starting our prayer here allows us, through a confession about ourselves, to get our eyes off of ourselves! This is because the fact that we have a Savior is implicit in the confession that we are sinners. This movement from “me” to “God,” from “How am I doing?” to “How can You be so good?!” helps us posture our hearts to hear the loving voice of God our Father. 

This is also a time to confess and turn from anything we’ve done that’s violated our conscience, that has taken us out of our awareness of union with God, or that has disconnected us from ourselves and others. 

Remember

“I recall all you have done, O Lord.”
Psalm 77:11

Scripture repeatedly tells us to remember. The entire book of Deuteronomy is about the people of God taking time to remember their past in order to prepare them for their future. By remembering how Jesus has been faithful, we start clearing away the clutter of our minds in order to focus on the story that Jesus tells, the story of new life through adoption. Bring to mind (or listen for the Holy Spirit to bring to mind) reminders of how Jesus has been faithful to you, specifically. Meditate on the ways he has demonstrated to you that he sees and knows you. Is there a particular event in your life through which the Holy Spirit imprinted the infinite love of God on you? Bring this memory to mind. Let it create confidence in you. Own it, give thanks for it. Let it remind you that you have tasted and seen, and that Jesus wants you to know and deeply trust his faithfulness. Remind yourself of the story you are invited to live from.

This is also a good time in the prayer to stop and simply give thanks. Gratitude is one of the best ways to make ourselves aware of God’s presence within and around us. It literally warms up the circuits of our brains.[1] Spend time allowing your heart to stride or stumble into rooms of thanksgiving and gratefulness. 

Remind

“Apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:1

After remembering how Jesus has been faithful, begin to focus on all the ways he will be faithful in the present and future. Remind yourself that God is wanting to do amazing things, in and around you. Remind yourself that you did not dream up longings for blessing or visions of the reign of God becoming reality. Your longings are echoes of desires that begin in God. You are the vine, he is the branch. Remind yourself that, despite the brokenness of the world around us, God is only light and He writes a story of life. 

Declare

“Pray like this: ‘Our Father in Heaven…’”
Matthew 6:9

Having anchored ourselves into the story of new life in God through confession, remembrance, and reminding ourselves of God’s goodness, we are ready to turn our attention fully to the face of God. Jesus tells us to pray, “Father, let Your name be blessed.” In our modern language, it might sound simply like this: “Father, You are good.”

What a simple but profound declaration. Bound up in it is the heart of faith: You are good and I trust You. And because I trust You, I can be vulnerable before You. 

Notice that we enter into the heart of prayer by calling God “Father.” Jesus is teaching us to relate to God not as some distant deity but as an intimate, caring parent. He is revealing the tenderness of God toward us. Jesus teaches us to begin not with requests, but with surrendering into trust, which means saying “yes” back to the “yes” the Father has spoken over us through our adoption in God. Indeed, Henri Nouwen said that prayer is simply “listening to the voice that calls us ‘my Beloved.’”[2] By calling God “Father,” we are posturing our hearts to commune with the source of all love and hope, our good Father. 

During this time of addressing God as Father, let your heart move into adoration and worship. 

Request: Your Kingdom Come

“May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10

Begin to make requests according to the pattern that Jesus has given us.

“May your Kingdom come, may your will be done” means simply Let what you want be done.The kingdom of God is the place where what God wants is. It is the place of abundance, wholeness, and thriving. Because we trust God as a Father who sees everything (an idea which Jesus continually reiterates in the Sermon on the Mount), we don’t even need to list out all of our specific concerns, although of course we can if that helps us. Peter tells us, for example, to “cast every care and worry on God;” now is a good time to name and release those concerns to God that are only released through naming and labeling.[3] Still, we may simply say, “Father, let your Kingdom come here, and in this area… and here… and here,” without demanding that it look a certain way. In other words, even as we make requests, we are able to practice surrender. It’s not about our having the perfect words to pray or knowing how to pray for each area of need or concern. Perhaps this is a place where you will feel the Spirit calling you into the place beyond words. 

This may also be a good time to pray for others, like your People of Peace, even if it’s simply saying, “Let your life come in _____’s life, and in ______’s.” And to pray, “Let your Reign come to others all around me, Jesus.”

Request: Daily Bread

“Give us today the food we need.”
Matthew 6:11

“Give us today our daily bread” simply means, “Give us what we need.”Not every whim or longing, but give us what we need to thrive as we seek the coming of your Reign. This is a vulnerable request that acknowledges dependence on God and an implicit commitment that we will not build our life on just getting all of our own needs met (something at the heart of “the American Dream”), but that we will orient our lives around seeking the kingdom of God first. The Sermon on the Mount takes up this theme right after the Lord’s Prayer, as Jesus tells us to be like the flowers of the field, “who don’t work or make their clothing.”[4] This is about a posture of dependence and humility, as we request daily manna of provision, physically, spiritually, and in every way that matters. 

You might make this request with open hands, remembering that what we do with our bodies matters, acknowledging that ultimately everything is a gift and giving thanks that God has special and unique provision for us. 

Request: Forgiveness

“And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”
Matthew 6:12

“Forgive me my sins just as I forgive those who sin against me” means simply, “Forgive me for all the things that I’ve blindly or willfully screwed up and for hurting people, just as I completely forgive them when they hurt me.” Forgiveness is at the heart of Jesus’ description of a heart that lives in the Reign of God. If we aren’t willing to forgive others, we close the spigot of mercy and grace that God, from His end, has already completely opened and filled. It’s we who refuse the mercy, not the other way around. When we fully extend forgiveness, we are trusting that, since our Father is good, we can release even the greatest pains done to us, because our God will hold them and will hold us with them and, ultimately, will make things right both within us and on our behalf. 

This is a constant pattern of the Lord’s Prayer, with each of its requests: each one requires us to relate to God as a loving Father. At each request, we must still be standing in the beginning of the prayer, calling God our Father. We can forgive even if we don’t feel like it because of who our Father is. As we put words to this trust in prayer, it will help us discover and become aware of how deep God’s grace and mercy is toward us. 

As you pray this part of the prayer, examine your conscience before God. Through the grace of the Spirit, release forgiveness to those who have hurt, betrayed, or offended you, as far as you can, even if you don’t feel like it. With your will, extend this forgiveness, even if your mind and heart don’t yet feel aligned with it.

Request: Out of Temptation

“And don’t let us yield to temptation…”
Matthew 6:13

“Don’t let us yield to temptation” (or “Lead us away from temptation” as it’s sometimes translated)means not only to be led away from the places where we would stumble, but also, in its New Testament context, to be delivered from times of suffering. Since we all know that suffering is not only a part of life but also the catalyst for our transformation, we are asking Jesus that we would pass the times of faith-testing that inevitably come, and that he would surround us with mercy, that we would not needlessly suffer or be afflicted.

As you make this request before God, think of areas where you need special grace and mercy.

Request: Out of Evil

“…but rescue us from the evil one”
Matthew 6:13

“Rescue us from the evil one” (or “from evil and the evil one”) means just that: that we would be delivered from evil and the worker of evil and would be preserved by the mercy of God. That we would, instead, as the writer of Psalm 91 wrote, “live in the shelter of the Most High,” where there is only abundance and life.[5]

As you make this request, think about your own life and the lives that are dear to you. Give thanks that while God’s goal is not simply to make us comfortable at the expense of our spiritual maturity, He also cares deeply about every aspect of our lives, body, soul, mind, and spirit. Give thanks that He longs deeply for our wholeness and deliverance from evil. Rejoice that God desires good things for His children.[6]

Into the Practice

By the time you have come to the end of the prayer, you have reoriented yourself to yourself, embracing the crucial both-andthat you are both a sinner anda child of God. You have reoriented your relationship to God as Father. And you have reoriented your relationship with others, releasing forgiveness, praying for those near to you, and praying that the Reign of God would come through you.

While we can make this prayer into something rote and lifeless, this daily practice will not become mechanistic if we pray in the moment, learning to pray with our head in our heart, because howwe pray it will change each day based on the winds of the Spirit blowing through our lives. This is critical to the heart of prayer: you must create time and space to move slowly, unhurriedly, so that you can pause and respond to the leading of the Spirit. Two unhurried minutes is better than fifteen rushed minutes. 

With this in mind, think of this template as just that: a template with general categories. As you pray it, you “fill out” the category depending on both your concerns for the day and the leading of God’s Spirit. Sometimes, a certain section of the prayer will give you pause. This is often the Spirit saying, “Let’s dwell here for a moment, I’m doing something here.” For example, when you pray, “Father forgive me just as I forgive others,” you may have a sense to pause and camp out. You may have specific people come to mind whom you weren’t thinking of at all when you began praying. When you pray, “Let Your Kingdom come,” you may have specific areas of concern that rise up in you. These names or concerns will change from day to day, which means that you can’t rush through it or pray it on automatic. To be in the prayer, you have to slow down and pray from your heart. Indeed, some days you may not get past the words of confession. Or God may stop you altogether as you address Him as Father. You might spend the rest of your time simply breathing, your hands open before God, receiving comfort from His Spirit. This posture of openness and “what’s going to happen today?” is part of what makes prayer exciting. Each day, you are stepping into something new, an adventure in which God’s Spirit will meet you in new ways. 

Each time you pray, then, listen for the leading of the Spirit. As you pray slowly and consistently, you will train yourself to hear the Holy Spirit as He leads you. Ultimately, the Holy Spirit will use the practice of prayer to remind you of the story that Jesus writes within you, the story of new life through adoption and of a life as an ambassador empowered to love others. After all, a great mystery of prayer is that it is actually God working in us, “giving [us] the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.”[7]

This week, take the prayer template outlined above and practice it daily. You may spend anywhere from five minutes to half an hour in prayer. Don’t rush. To help you enter with an unhurried heart, take a few deep breaths before you pray to slow down your body and your mind and to remind yourself that Jesus is as near to you as your breath. 

As you pray, notice how the Spirit will call you into the place beyond words. Through practice, learn to abide there. This can be vulnerable! And it will be beautiful. Indeed, one of the most courageous things we do as human beings and as followers of Jesus is to allow ourselves to feel our desire and to pray in response to it—to enter into the mystery of God—rather than running away from it. As we make time and space to connect and commune with God in prayer, we can be sure that the Reign of God will break out in, around, and through us.

For all of these readings in one place, order my book 'Learning to Live and Love Like Jesus.'

[1]The same part of your brain that “lights up” when you give thanks is the same part that is activated when you connect deeply in intimate conversation. 

[2]Nouwen, Henri. Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Faith and Wisdom. HarperCollins, New York, NY. 2006. Reading for January 13. 

[3]I Peter 5:7.

[4]Matthew 6:28.

[5]Psalm 91:1.

[6]Cf. Matthew 7:11, also in “The Sermon on the Mount.”

[7]Philippians 2:13.